Top 12 Things Likely to be said by a Klingon Programmer
via my PB e-buddy with a sense of humor Kevin Ridley and
my PFC-gifted TeamSybase friend, John Olson
- "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
- "This machine is a piece of GAGHK! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to
do battle with this code!"
- "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original
- "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your
- "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'.
Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance
people in its wake."
- "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - They have 'arguments' -
And they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
- "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
- "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest.
They will not concern us again."
- "A TRUE Klingon Programmer does not comment his code!"
- "By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to
- "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
- "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship
it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!"