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Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers

via my former coworker, the hilarious Mr. Michael Campbell
AND my intelligent and multi-talented cousin, Robert Scholwinski

20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95

19. Fetch command not available on all platforms

18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side

17. Too difficult to book-"mark" every website they visit

16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear, "You've got mail !"

15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating

14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing http://www.pethouse.com instead of working

13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee

12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon screen saver

11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging

10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb

9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome

8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...

7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software

6. SmellU-SmellME still in beta test

5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!

4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver

3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup news://alt.binaries.master's.leg

2. B-Sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms


And the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...

1. TrO{gO DsA [R,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrO TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.=3D20


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