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"Cheat Sheet" for PowerBuilder/PFC "Help"

You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When...

via my PB e-buddy with a sense of humor Kevin Ridley

  1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are

  2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization"

  3. You refer to dating as test marketing

  4. You can spell "paradigm"

  5. You actually know what a paradigm is

  6. You understand your airline's fare structure

  7. You write executive summaries on your love letters

  8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points

  9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page presentation with six other people you don't know

  10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review

  11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities"

  12. You calculate your own personal cost of capital

  13. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt"

  14. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line"

  15. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people's asses"

  16. You actually believe your explanation in number 15

  17. You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late

  18. You refer to your previous life as "my sunk cost"

  19. You refer to your significant other as "my co-CEO"

  20. You like both types of sandwiches: ham and turkey

  21. You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss

  22. You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend

  23. You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense

  24. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child

  25. At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity

  26. Your "deliverable" for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills

  27. You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing

  28. You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and Internet connection

  29. You give constructive feedback to your dog, or worse, your cat


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