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"Cheat Sheet" for PowerBuilder/PFC "Help"

How Things Would Be Different If Microsoft Built Cars

via my wonderful, author partner friend
the hilarious real-life computer geek, Rik Brooks
[Washington Technology, page 6, 1/25/96]

  1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that year, instead of before.

  2. Every time lines are repainted on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

  3. Occasionally, your car would die for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.

  4. You could have only one person at a time in your car, unless you bought a car 95 or a car NT model, but then you'd have to buy more seats.

  5. SUN MICROSYSTEMS would make a car that was solar- powered, twice as reliable, five times as fast, but ran on only 5 percent of the roads.

  6. The oil, alternator, gas and engine warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

  7. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.

  8. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.

  9. New seats will force everyone to have the same size rear end.


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