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"Cheat Sheet" for PowerBuilder/PFC "Help"


via my wonderful husband, John

Dear Administrator:

Everything you wrote about the Goodtimes Email Virus is true; let me just add the following so others can understand how powerful it is.

The Goodtimes Email Virus

Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.

It will give your ex-boyfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.

Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current boyfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase grade schoolers with your new snowblower.


> If any one receives mail entitled: PENPAL GREETINGS ! please
>delete it WITHOUT reading it !! This is a warning for all Internet user -
>there is a dangerous virus propagating across the Internet through an
>e-mail message entitled "PENPAL GREETINGS!". DO NOT DOWNLOAD
>to be a friendly letter asking if you are interested in a penpal, but by
>the time you read this letter, it is too late. The "trojan horse" virus will
>have already infected the boot sector of your hard drive, destroying
>all of the data present. It is a self replicating virus, and once the
>msg. is read, it will AUTOMATICALLY forward itself to anyone who's
>e-mail address is present in YOUR MAIL BOX!
>This virus will DESTROY your hard drive, and holds the potential
>to DESTROY the hard drive of anyone who's e-mail is in your in-box,
>and who's mail is in their box and so on. If this virus keeps getting
>passed, it has the potential to do a great deal of DAMAGE to computers
>networks worldwide !!!!!
>Please, delete the message entitled "PENPAL GREETINGS!" as soon as
>you see it! And pass this msg. along to your friends and other readers of
>the news groups and mailing lists which you are on so that they are not
>hurt by this dangerous virus !!!
>Please pass this along to everyone you know so this can be stopped.



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